MLA Format for Office Conversation

Conversations with unfamilar people in an office environment vary depending on the day of the week. They are as follows:

Monday:
1) How’s it going?
2) It’s ok, tough to come back on Monday.
1) Yeah, I feel that.

Tuesday:
1) How’s it going?
2) Hangin’ in there, just trying to get through the week.
1) Yeah, I feel that.

Wednesday:
1) How’s it going?
2) Hangin’ in there, halfway through the week now, so that’s good. **
1) Yeah, I feel that.

Thursday:
1) How’s it going?
2) Doin’ ok. Tomorrow’s Friday, so that’s good.
3) Yeah, I feel that.

Friday:
1) How’s it going?
2) Pretty good, glad it’s Friday.
1) Yeah, I feel that.

This is simply an outline, each phrase individually can be altered slightly, but the 3-line, short template must be followed.

** The phrase “hump-day” can sometimes be included by 2, to be determined by the level of exuberance between 1 and 2. Because exuberance between 1 and 2 in an office environment is not possible, the phrase “hump-day” can never be used.

Workin’ for the Man

I feel like I’m being watched. They face the computers into the cubicles so that you can’t be looking at your screen and also aware of who might be looking at you. Suddenly people are behind you. The man is often quite passive aggressive. For example, often when I return from a break there is a hand-out or an updated spreadsheet or some other piece of paperwork on my chair from the Man. That’s how the Man says “I know you were gone, just letting you know that I know.”

Everyday, the Man kills at least 15 trees per employee. Though the Man has embraced email, he has really only embraced email as a way to send dual information. Anything that is sent on email will also be placed on your chair when you are not there, perhaps because of the importance of paper on the chair as depicted in the previous paragraph. The Man then gets upset if your desk is messy or disorganized, but the reality is that the Man has Himself caused the majority of the clutter that exists there.

Do shows have an expiration date?

New episodes of shows on the WB are called “fresh”. Does that mean that reruns are stale?

Who are you lookin’ at?

Democrats been sayin’ fer months that the only reason we went to war was for oil. Well answer this, democrats: If we went to war for oil, then why is gas so expensive?